I began this blog a year ago today.
I had previously blogged periodically, but never consistently. Before that I kept a hard copy journal which I’d go through bursts of maintaining. But this is the first time I’ve consistently reflected every (work) day for a year.
I’ve written 229 posts. Well, 230 counting this one.
My most popular post got over 200 views. A fact which I wrote about here.
I still feel like a tool every time I see my big ol’ face up on Facebook. I still feel like nobody. But I still keep writing anyway.
I’m not sure what I was hoping for when I started this blog. A communications professional ought to have an online presence, of course, but more than that – this blog was one in a series of selfish changes. Dedicated time to self-improvement. That endless striving towards unobtainable perfection.
What I’ve learned is that too many people feel lost and confused. Overwhelmed by the tumult of life. Angry at too much injustice.
Too many people feel like they are nobody – that public problems are the burden of someone else, some expert who will inevitably screw it up worse while trying to make it better.
Too many people have been taught that their voice doesn’t matter. They may hold opinions if they feel so bold, but they cannot fathom that opinion could ever crystallize into change.
Children are meant to be seen, not heard.
Too many of us have been taught that we are children. That our lives and experience don’t matter. That we could never hope to have expertise. That we could never hope to have value.
But the truth is that even children ought to be heard.
All of us should clamor for recognition, but too many of us have stopped even trying to be heard. Too many of us have become invisible, even to ourselves.
When I began this blog, I didn’t know who I was. I’d spent too many years hiding myself – trying to fit in amongst the crowd. When I began this blog, I didn’t have my voice. I just had my anger and the sense that something was very, very, wrong in the world.
When I began this blog, I hoped to learn about myself, and to learn about the world. To share the hidden perspectives of all the Nobodies like me.
A year has gone by and I still have much to learn. I am still striving towards unachievable perfection. I am still lost and confused, angry and overwhelmed.
But I have changed. I have found my voice.