The Accidental Creeper

I don’t mean to be creepy, I’m just naturally good at it.

I mean – and perhaps it’s just because I work in communications – but it’s not uncommon for me to meet people whom I am familiar with, but who don’t know me. I have read about them, heard about them, or, perhaps even written about them.

This provides for awkward social situations.

I try to play it cool – asking conversational questions I already know the answers to – but sometimes I slip and start telling a complete stranger all about their work.

Then I have to apologize and explain that I am, in fact, not a stalker. Awkward.

This penchant is made worse by the fact that I tend to be detail-oriented, with, as I like to say, a creepy memory.

If you ask me where someone is, rather than give a simple answer, I’m too liable to respond with, “I don’t know, but – I saw them going that way X amount of time ago, and given the fact that they said Y yesterday and that I overheard Z, I would infer that they are in such-and-such location.

…And then I have to apologize and explain that I am, in fact, not a stalker. Still awkward.

In some ways, this goes back to my earlier observation about the fine line between being crazy and being thoughtful.

That is to say, what is it, really, that makes it awkward that I have information about people?

In many ways, I think, it feels like I’m not supposed to have this information because I’m not supposed to care that much about other people.

Certainly not about people I’ve never met – I should properly no nothing about them. Colleagues and acquaintances I should have a passing familiarity with, but there’s definitely a line where…past that you seem like a creeper.

But what’s funny is I’m pretty sure most people are accidental creepers.

While some people try to edge away politely when I try to explain that I’m not a stalker most people just laugh, sigh, and share – ah, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

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