There’s an ideal of effortlessness that is simple unobtainable.

I was never very good at social interactions, so I used to watch people closely – so I could learn what a person was supposed to do.

Around about high school or middle school, I distinctly remember thinking that this is how girls were supposed to act:

  • Eat junk food
  • Talk proudly about how you eat whatever you want, and down on all those body shamers who would dare to tellĀ  you otherwise
  • Be really skinny

I never really figured out how people managed to do all three of those things. I was pretty good at those first two, but was shocked at the number of people who seemed to manage all three.

As an adult I see a similar trend in house upkeep and other adult-y activities.

You should complain about how difficult it is to keep your house in order, but your house should still be in order.

I don’t know if this is a gendered thing, though certainly many of my interactions on this topic have been gender biased.

But it’s interesting to me that there should be such an urge. I suppose nobody wants to be the kid at the front of the class who has their hand raised for every question, but must we always be both the kid who gets all As while simultaneously vocally complaining about how challenging the work is?

That seems like an effort in futility, but it also seems like the norm.

Be perfect, but effortlessly. All while complaining about how difficult it is.


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